


If I Belong to Somewhere, It's to Your Arms

by orphan_account



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Angst, Derek Hale feelings, F/M, Happy endings though, Multi, only mentions of the other pairings outside of derek and allison
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-26
Updated: 2012-10-26
Packaged: 2017-11-17 01:58:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,181
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/546388
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Derek has spent all the years since the fire blaming himself. He thinks everything that happens is because of him trusting Kate. When he has to come home to Beacon Hills because Laura hasn't called, he gets much more than he expected. It's as canon compliant as possible but there are a few little divergences.</p>
            </blockquote>





	If I Belong to Somewhere, It's to Your Arms

After all these years, Derek shouldn't still cringe at the slightest touch, but he does. The last person allowed to casually touch Derek died at the hands of his own flesh and blood. Laura was the last person Derek would ever want to hug. She was the only person he could curl up next to on a rainy day and not have to say a word. He never told his sister about Kate, but she knew. She knew because it was her little brother. She’d always known him better than anyone. She’d warned Derek to stay away from Kate, but Derek hadn't listened. He wished more than anything in the world he had. He will never be able to forget the smell of his childhood home burning. He could smell the burnt flesh; he could not only feel his grief but his sister’s too. The images, the smells…they were burned into his memory. He remembered frantically calling Kate. Crying and asking her to come see him. He’d cried into the phone. _I need you, Kate. Please …My family…they’re all gone. The house…there’s been a fire. I need you._ She’d only laughed callously, stating that she was on her way out of town. She sounded happy and content while he sobbed over the loss of his entire family. He knew then that it was her. Laura had been right all along. He thought Kate had loved him. Sure, underneath the surface he’d always questioned her kisses. He’d ask her if she loved him the way he loved her. She’d always answer with the same “of course I do sweetie, now kiss me” and Derek would swallow down any trace of doubt with her every touch. 

He realized after the fire that every kiss, every moment- it had all been her way to his family. Looking back he can see now just how much she had enjoyed taking advantage of him. He’d thought at the time how lucky he was. There was this beautiful, older woman who wanted him. At the time, he was sure he was the luckiest guy alive. He’d wondered how this gorgeous woman could want him. How could she smile and sigh through all of his awkward, clumsy kisses and make love to him like she wanted him more than anything in the world? She didn’t seem psychotic at first. She seemed smart, a little sarcastic and a little feisty, but not mean. She had laughed with her whole body and her eyes sparkled whenever he touched her. She seemed strong in a way that drew her to him. She always called him sweetie or honey, and she told him all her secrets and unfortunately he’d told her all of his. Derek was sixteen. A child who’d let his hormones make shit decisions. And he paid for them with the lives of everyone he loved. 

After the fire, Laura said they needed a fresh start. That they needed to get the hell out of Beacon Hills. So they put Uncle Peter in a long term care facility and hit the road. They made to New York and let the business of the city drown out their sadness. Derek got a job as a bartender and Laura as a waitress in this sleazy nightclub. They did everything together. They eventually got a horribly cramped little one bedroom apartment that probably cost twice as much as the apartments in Beacon Hills, but it worked. They had their rules of course. Don't talk about home, the fire or Kate. Stay away from others and only depend on each other. Go everywhere together. Don’t get close to people. Derek had made up those last two rules. He had no interest in ever letting anyone in again. He knew he was damaged goods and that was that. Laura always argued that he was wrong. That shutting the entire world out would only hurt them worse, but Derek didn't care. He couldn't risk letting anyone in. So they worked and slept, and once in awhile they would stay up late and try and get drunk. He could always tell that Laura was sad, that this life wasn't what she wanted. He could feel her desire to go home. He hated making her stay, but Beacon Hills was hell and Derek wasn't ready to burn for all of his sins. 

He still remembered the day that Laura called him frantically saying that something was wrong at home. Beacon Hills couldn’t ever be home again after what he did. She begged him to come with her; she went as far as to point out that staying together was a rule. He’d angrily told her that if she wanted to go back there, she would have to go alone. He regretted it immediately, but he hated to imagine going back there. She could have just ordered him to come, but Laura had just sighed sadly and left. She understood why he wouldn't go back. All the memories he is still haunted with would only be screaming at him. So he let her go alone. He tried not to worry and go about his life. He worked and brooded as usual, but Laura checked in and said she had not found anything yet. _Because there isn’t anything to find. You just want to go home…that is what you always wanted and you finally realized what a fuck up I am. You finally did what you always wanted, left me and went home. Everything that has happened is my fault. I deserve this._ He tries so hard not think these thoughts, but the run through his mind on repeat. He remembers her last phone call. She sounded frantic and scared, and for an alpha to be that way was nearly unheard of. All she said was that she was onto its’ trail. That she’d call when it was taken care of. To wait patiently for word. It was an order and he had to listen to his alpha. So he waited. After a couple of weeks, he knew something was wrong. Laura never went that long without checking in. He’d finally have to go back to the one place he’d rather die than go, but it was his sister and he wasn’t that much of a coward. 

And then he finds her body. Well, half of it anyways. And because this is his hell on earth, he buries her himself. He has to bury half of his only friend, only family member- the only human being left that he truly loves. It’s his penance he supposes, that he should get to live while everyone else is gone. When he let Kate into his life, he destroyed everything and now he has to live with it. He’d always counted on having Laura there to ease a bit of the pain. He didn’t deserve that, but it didn’t mean he could imagine his life without her for one second. He doesn’t cry, but he vows to find out what happened to his sister. And he does. Of course, it being his comatose Uncle is unexpected at best. His mind is gone. Being burned alive can apparently drive you utterly mad. So Derek takes him out. He kills the last of his family. He never even thought Peter would wake up. As far as he’d been aware, he was as good as dead in that facility. He never showed any signs of healing. His uncle killed his sister to become Alpha. And Derek killed his Uncle. He didn’t even want to be the alpha, but he accepted the power. He didn’t want a pack. He just wanted to pay for his sins with a little quiet desperation. 

Because one thing is clear, he deserves to burn. He didn’t kill Kate when he had the chance. In fact, he couldn’t lay a hand on her even while she tortured him. Because he loved her at one point, he loved her with everything inside of him. How did he love someone so soulless, so cruel? She laughed at his pain. She laughed over his whole entire family. And yet, he couldn’t bring himself to kill her. What was wrong with him? He should have ripped her into pieces and burned her. He had every chance, but he couldn’t kill anyone in cold blood, not even her. 

So when Allison Argent first touches him, he cringes. He can’t help himself. He knows better than to trust an Argent and he only offered her a ride home so he didn’t start trouble with the hunters. He doesn’t expect the girl to grasp his hand and say thank you. He doesn’t expect her warm smile or the way she laughs when he says to be careful, that it’s a full moon. Because Kate, yeah she laughed, but it was never like that, pure and lovely and infectious. Allison’s laugh was sincere and honest. He found her to be completely disarming and he couldn’t feel that. The girl leaves her jacket in his car. Derek considers just giving it to Scott, but honestly he doesn’t feel like dealing with him. Instead Derek goes into the high school and scents out the girl’s locker and leaves it for her. He doesn’t let himself think about how wonderful she smells. He pushes it to the back of his mind as events unfold. Scott getting stronger, finding out who the Alpha is and why he’s killing seemingly random people, trying not to get murdered by hunters, Kate getting back into town, and avoiding the – It’s really all he has time to worry about. He doesn’t have time to think about Allison Argent and the way she smells. Scott is completely in love with her. She apparently feels the same way. And Derek wouldn’t pursue anything with the girl regardless. 

They don’t really interact as the months go by. Eventually Derek kills Peter with the help of Scott and his best friend Stiles. Derek is glad to have the help. He even briefly considers offering Stiles the bite, but quickly decides he wouldn't want to be tied to this hyperactive teenager who rambles on about the history of the male circumcision. However, he seriously considers asking him into the pack as a human. He is pretty sure that is the only way Scott finally joins and he needs him. Everyone tied to the fire at his home is dead now, even Kate and Derek mourns her despite himself. He doesn't cry or think about the good times, he just thinks of how another person he once loved his dead. There must be something so wrong with him that everyone around him dies. And yet, he carries on. The urge to build a pack is too strong to ignore, so he seeks out people to turn. The weak, the physically and emotionally abused, the loners. He wants people that will want the bite no matter the dangers. He finds Isaac Lahey, a teenager who was abused by his father. He can feel the anguish and pain that is constantly around him. He thinks that this kid definitely deserves a second chance at life. He also grimly notes that access to the graveyard may come in handy one day. So he lays it all out: the hunters, the blood lust, the change and all the possible dangers that come with becoming like him. He accepts and Derek bites him. 

He finds Erica Reyes in the hospital. She has epilepsy. She has suffered so much, he can sense it. Not to mention the way her classmates probably treat her, teenagers are cruel. So he turns on the seduction and offers the gift. No more episodes and control over your own body is enough to convince her. He wouldn’t have had to even warn about the dangers because she has already enthusiastically agreed. He still warns her, but she still wants the bite. He can tell the power goes to her head and he can sense her body’s response to him. But Derek isn’t interested in Erica. He thinks he may regret turning her but he needs the power. He just wants a strong pack, some semblance of crappy family. He finds Boyd and he is by far Derek’s favorite. Strong, stoic and brave but smart too. He’s loyal and follows commands, but not mindlessly. He also doesn’t enjoy the violence the way the others seem to. It takes him a few days longer to accept the bite; he thinks over the risks but still decides to take the bite. The first time Boyd ever has to fight he takes out several hunters alone. Derek really does like Boyd. If only Scott would actually join the pack, he thinks it would actually be pretty damn strong. He likes Scott. He is smart, strong and very capable. Maybe if Scott would just trust Derek for one second and see that he has everyone's best interests at heart, he would actually consider being Pack. Derek tries really hard to believe he does at least. It also doesn't help that Scott is in love with Allison and he'll never do anything to jeopardize that. He had heard from Erica that they weren’t even together anymore, but he could smell that wasn’t the case anytime he spent time with Scott. He didn’t know why Erica had to tell him all the ins and out of Scott’s love life, but she always did. 

Erica and Boyd were dating. Isaac was pining after Scott who was still sneaking around with Allison. Stiles was still obsessed with the pretty red head that was in love with her jack ass ex Jackson. Derek hated that he even knew these things, because there are much more important things going on. Like the evil reptilian monster running around town killing random people. It paralyzed its victims and from what Stiles said, it is very uncomfortable. Allison steals her the Argent bestiary and essentially clues everyone in as to what this thing actually is. It’s someone who’s been bitten by a werewolf, but can’t transform because they don’t know who they are. It’s called a Kanima. And Derek knows only two people who have been bitten and haven’t transformed. Jackson and Lydia are the only ones that Derek is aware of. He sends his betas to find out who it is, and it’s Lydia. He knows that she is friends with Scott and Allison and it’s with a heavy heart that he makes plans to kill her. But Scott forms his own little renegade pack and protects her. Allison is there, armed with a crossbow. She is brave and strong and despite the situation Derek is impressed by her when she paralyzes Erica with the Kanima venom. He hates that he is so fascinated by her. And because he is Derek, it turns out that Jackson is the Kanima. Derek is destined to never catch a break. He escapes and Derek will swear he isn’t relieved that he doesn’t have to kill anyone. 

So when Lydia properly translates the bestiary and they realize that someone is actually controlling Jackson to kill people, Derek is really glad they didn’t murder him. The hunt is on to try and find Jackson. Scott temporarily allies himself with Derek and his pack. It’s a rave of all places where they finally find Jackson and Stiles, Isaac and Erica capture him to try and find out some answers. Isaac and Scott seem to really hit it off and Derek can’t help but hope that there is something besides friendship for them. Because he wants Isaac to be happy and he tells himself that is the only reason. They get some really dubious answers from whoever is controlling Jackson. Someone killed him and he was seeking vengeance. It’s always vengeance with these types. Derek knows just how overrated vengeance is. He is outside the rave with Stiles when he feels Scott’s terror and pain. 

Stiles uses his spark once again to break the mountain ash keeping Jackson in. Derek runs to find Scott. He can feel him fading and regardless how much Scott annoys him, he’s pack. Derek will save him. Allison’s mom is trying to kill him with Wolfsbane. It’s a mist and it’s filled the air. Derek can barely breathe, but he makes his way to Scott. She tries to fight him and he bites her. It’s self-defense and he doesn’t mean to, but she is strong and completely unaffected by the poison in the air. As she panics, he grabs Scott and gets out without looking back. He hates that he bit her and he knows that this is bad. He can’t stand the thought of causing Allison any more pain, but he had to save Scott. He shouldn’t have bit her. Why does he always have to fuck everything up?

On the full moon Lydia shows up, out of her mind, blowing some sort of Wolfsbane dust into his face. He wakes up in his abandoned, burnt shell of a home to his dead uncle alive. Nothing can ever go his way. At least he is still Alpha. He killed Peter once, he can do it again. But that doesn’t mean he wants to. He finds out from Stiles that Lydia drugged everyone at her birthday party earlier the same night. He knows she wasn’t in her right mind and promises Stiles he won’t hurt her. In fact, he tells him to keep a close eye on her. With Peter alive she is in grave danger, considering he used her to somehow come alive again. Stiles is also the one to fill Derek in to what happens to Allison’s mom. Victoria Argent actually takes her own life over being a werewolf. Allison is distraught and withdrawn. Gerard Argent, that manipulative bastard, takes advantage of her grief to seek his own vengeance. Kate was the product of the same manipulation. Derek hates him with every fiber of his being. And now to see Allison go down the same road, it’s saddening. He never wanted this to happen to her. She was supposed to be innocent of all this. She and Scott are apparently over and Scott is falling for Isaac, he can smell their feelings for one another. He is fighting it, but it’s inevitable, just as inevitable as it was with Allison. Scott gets wrapped up in Kanima drama and trying to figure out how to save everyone, so he never even tells Allison what actually happened. Derek wants to tell her, but he won’t fight her and he can’t risk being killed. His pack needs him too much. So he does his best to stay out of the way as she hunts him. 

He goes to the police station to check on Scott and finds out who the master of the Kanima is. Some kid named Matt. He forces Jackson to paralyze stiles and Derek, and he continues to terrorize the station. There is blood everywhere. Death clings to the air and Derek can’t move. He is useless. Scott comes for him, but he forces him to take Stiles first. Pack comes first and Stiles may not know it yet, but he is definitely Pack. Erica and Isaac won’t have it any other way. Time passes and once he can finally move, Allison and her hunters storm the station. He watches Matt threaten her and he growls, shifting immediately. He hears it. If I can’t have you no one can. He seeks out the Kanima to end this once and for all, because he isn’t killing the human. But as bad as he feels about Jackson, he can’t let any more people die over this. He knows Allison can take care of herself. He realizes how irrational it is to try and protect her while she wants to kill him, but he really can’t help himself. There is just something about her that draws him. 

Boyd and Erica leave him when they decide they just can’t handle this. Isaac might as well pledge his loyalty to Scott. Stiles is still there for him because he is that kind of person, but he still chooses Scott. Allison is more determined than ever to kill him and now all he has is once dead, murderer Uncle who can’t seem to really do anything but sass. Jackson takes himself out on the Lacrosse field, but it’s not over. The bestiary shows what happens next. It involves wings and fire. This was always Gerard’s plan, to have control over an even more dangerous monster. After months of managing to not kill Jackson, Derek knows he has no choice now. Not with Gerard Argent controlling the Kanima. Matt was nothing compared to the damage that crazy bastard will cause. Scott and Isaac bring Jackson’s body to Derek so this can finally end. He hates that it will end with more bloodshed, but that’s life. 

Jackson wakes up and the fight begins. Allison attacks Isaac. She is so far gone. Derek hates seeing her that way. The fight is intense and there is a huge chance he can’t win. Once again Derek finds himself paralyzed and he sees the Kanima hold up Allison in a death grip. He uselessly fights against the paralysis, aching to save her. He hears Gerard instructing Scott to bring Derek to him. He’d known that Scott was betraying him, but he’d been holding onto the hope he was a double agent. He tells Scott the only way to save Allison is to let Derek die. Derek wants to tell him to just do it and Scott does. He wants to rip Gerard apart. He wants to make him pay for ruining so many lives, because in that moment it hits him. He always saw himself as the root of all of this pain. It’s not though. It’s Gerard. He poisoned Kate and he poisoned Allison, he is the cause of all of this pain. And he hears Gerard finally reveals his true plan. The old man has cancer and wants the bite. He wants to become a werewolf so he won’t die a human death. He let Allison’s mother, probably encouraged, kill herself instead of becoming a werewolf and all along, this is what he has wanted. He forces Derek to bite him. He feels Scott’s whole mood shift, his emotions riding some strange high. Does he hate him that much that his death brings him joy? And then he sees it. The blackness oozing out of the bite. He smells the infection take root in Gerard’s body. The bite isn’t taking. Scott explains his own plan. How he exchanged the old man’s pills with mountain ash. That he only pretended to betray Derek so he could save everyone. As Gerard oozes the black sickness, the Kanima attacks. Apparently Gerard’s last order is to kill everyone. Derek is sure hope is lost until Stiles drives his crappy, old jeep drives right into the warehouse. Lydia climbs out and walks right up to Jackson. She hands him something, a key. And she says that she has to give it to him because he wanted it back. And he actually begins to shift back to human form. He asks her if she still loves him and she furiously nods yes. He hugs her tightly and then he nods to Derek. It’s a look that clearly says he know what must be done. Derek and Peter walk forward and rip through his stomach. He falls to the ground. Derek eyes are wide and he can’t believe he’s just killed another person. He hates it. It feels evil and wrong, but it had to be done. And then it happens. Jackson shifts, finally a werewolf. His eyes blaze blue and he collapses into Lydia’s arms. 

It’s over. Chris wraps Allison into his arms. Scott slips his hand into Isaac’s and Stiles watches Jackson and Lydia with tears streaming down his face. Derek stands watching the reaffirmations of love around the room, feeling out of place. Allison sees Scott holding Isaac’s hand and actually smiles at them. Her own little way of saying that it’s okay, that she wants Scott to be happy. She deserves that too. Derek wants Allison to be happy and whole more than anything. Somehow he has grown to care more about her than he ever thought possible. Their interactions were negligible at best, but that first encounter. Her warm laugh and the way she gripped his arm, completely unaware of what she was doing and to whom. He loved her. She would hate him forever because of what happened to her mother and he would never expect anything else. He never thought for a second she’d feel the same way anyways. Peter was always rambling on about the power of human love, but Derek had ignored him. Peter also constantly talked about Stiles and how amazing he was. Stiles was one of Derek’s few true friends apart from Boyd and maybe Deaton. But the way Peter talked about stiles being amazing was sort of the same way Isaac rambled on about Scott. Derek should definitely keep an eye on that. At least that would keep his mind off of Allison. 

It’s a few months later and everything has settled down some. There is an alpha pack nearby and they planned to come to Beacon Hills eventually. Derek has accepted Stiles’ idea that Beacon Hills is on a Hellmouth because they just can’t catch a break. Scott and Isaac are now dating, openly. Boyd and Erica are back, after being found and sent home by the Alphas. Stiles is officially Pack. He and Peter are closer than Derek likes, but it’s not romantic and he already threatened to kill Peter and slice him in half if he touches anyone in the wrong way. Jackson and Lydia are Pack too, but they seem to do their own thing more than the others. Lydia hates being around Peter and Derek doesn’t blame her for one minute. Peter is morally ambiguous at best, but until he hurts someone he gets to live. He’s still family whether Derek likes him or not. Jackson and Stiles convinced everyone to let Danny into the fold and Derek caved at everyone’s constant whining. Danny seems like a nice guy and he was apparently a computer genius so he turns out to be an asset to the pack. He understood why Jackson wants Danny in the pack, but doesn’t understand Stiles’ reasoning until the first pack meeting that Danny attends. Stiles stares at him all night, and anytime Danny catches him, Stiles actually blushes. Danny just raises eyebrows and rolls his eyes. Jackson chuckles under his breath and tells Danny he knows the truth whatever that means. It quickly becomes obvious is that the truth is that Danny likes Stiles too and just loves giving the guy crap about it. They start dating and they are sickeningly adorable.

Between everyone in the pack and the puppy piles and all the cuddling, Derek can’t stand it. Since Jackson finally wolfed out, he is all smiles and kindness. The difference is shocking. Derek is the only werewolf still brooding and distant. He tries to get involved in the bonding, but it’s too much touching. He always feels so horrible when he pushes them away, especially Scott or Jackson because he fought so hard for them to be Pack, but bonding with them hurts too much. It feels like Derek is trying to make a new family and it just seems wrong. He isn’t supposed to be happy. It’s his punishment to be miserable and brooding. So when it just gets to be too much, he leaves and runs in the forest. Or he goes to the diner and has a coffee and just drowns in all his pain. He can’t let himself feel any happiness. He doesn’t deserve it. 

His favorite place to go and brood is the cemetery. It’s dark and macabre, but he feels it fitting for making himself pay for his mistakes. He sits under an old tree, and loses himself in his memories. He thinks of his childhood. The way his mother always hid an extra cookie for him because Laura would eat them all. He always called her the cookie monster. He thinks about his father and all the times they would run together in the forest. Or when he and his mother would swim in the lake and bask in the sunshine. They’d laugh about how Laura was stuck doing alpha training with his father. He thought about his little cousins, not even in grade school when the fire happened. They burned for his ignorance. Their smiling faces as they always asked Uncle Derek to take them to the movies or to get ice cream. His whole family was gone. Laura, his sister and very best friend, the only person he every truly connected with even after the fire, gone because of his love for Kate Argent. He knows it isn't all his fault, but he'll never forgive himself. Gerard was pulling strings long before Derek even knew the Argents. 

Allison got caught in the crossfire, too young to be used as a pawn in her grandfather’s evil schemes. He wanted to reach out to her, tell her everything. He couldn’t bring himself to bring her anymore pain. Tarnishing her mother’s memory was pointless. He could let her hate him if meant she got to remember her mom in a better light. He at least has the memory of her lavender shampoo ingrained into his memory. He can think of the time she didn’t know who he was and she laughed and smiled. Allison would never be his because he doesn’t deserve her. She deserves someone whole and undamaged, someone who can love her fully and passionately. A person that can be touched without cringing. 

As he sits in the quiet, reflecting on the past he catches a wafting hint of Lavender. He looks up, glancing around for the source. He sees her, walking alone. She is wearing dark clothes and her hair is thrown into a messy pony tail. Her eyes are red and she is carrying flowers. Allison is here to see her mother. Derek stands to leave, so that Allison can have her privacy. She sees him immediately and jumps. She rubs her eyes and collects herself. She beckons Derek over to her. She doesn’t glare the way he expects. She looks at him and explains that Scott told her everything. She knows that Derek didn’t mean to bite her mother and that he was only saving Scott. Scott even told her about Kate and the extent of what she did to Derek and his family. She starts to apologize, but Derek stops her. 

“Allison, there is no need to apologize. Everything that’s happened, nothing has been your fault. He manipulated you just like he manipulated Kate. He tricked your mother into hurting Scott, I’m sure. And then after I bit her, he told her to take her own life. I am sorry for everything. You never deserved to be brought into this mess.” Derek reached out to grab her hand only to drop his hand. What was he doing? He couldn’t just go around touching her. 

“Scott told me other things. Well, Erica told Scott who told me. Erica seems to be under the impression that you are fond of me. Is that why you never tried to retaliate after all I did. I hurt every member of your pack apart from Scott and Stiles. And yet, you never attacked me. You never hurt me at all. The only time we ever spent any time together you were protecting me on the full moon. Why would you ever do all of that for me?” Allison asked, her voice wavering at the end. 

“Because it’s you. You are strong and brave, and you have this infectious laugh that can just make you feel better by hearing it. You are smart and you can take care of yourself. You were kind to me when no one else was. You didn’t know who I was, but still…Everyone else here treated me like a pariah. You let me drive you home and you were so nice. You’re funny and beautiful, but you don’t think you are better than anyone. I guess, I just…I just knew you were worth it.”

“Derek… I don’t know what to say. I know you and Kate…I mean, we haven’t even really spent time together and I just….I don’t know what to say.”

“I don’t expect anything from you. I just thought I should be honest. Don’t worry about it. You should go put those flowers on your mom’s grave. Kate meant something to me a very, very long time ago. But it has nothing to do with the fact that I care about you. I’m going to go.”

“I came here today to talk to you. I just needed to apologize whether you think I should or not. I feel so bad that my family is the reason you have none. It doesn’t change anything, but I hate what happened to them. I hate it so much. It isn’t fair.” Allison’s eyes began to water and Derek’s eyes widened in surprise. 

“Don’t cry. Please…don’t cry.” Derek never liked when girls cried. And Allison crying is the actual worst thing ever. 

He doesn’t know whether he should pat her shoulder or hug her or just let her cry it out. Laura had never been one for crying. He had always hated when his little nieces cried. It had always ended with them getting some sort of treat or gift, whatever to stop the waterworks. Allison crying was different. She was crying tears over his family. He held his arms out to her before he couldn’t even rationalize why he was doing it. He didn’t expect her to fall into his arms, her arms clinging to him and her tears soaking his shirt. She kept whispering how sorry she was and Derek did his best to soothe her. He told her over and over that it was okay. That is wasn’t her fault. He held her while she cried out all her built up guilt and grief. He didn’t cringe away from her this time. He held her tight and stroked her hair. Once she stopped crying, she didn’t let go. She merely pressed her head down across his chest and let herself feel safe and warm in Derek’s arms. 

He knew it didn’t mean anything romantic. She’d broken down and he’d been there. He would always be there. She finally let him go and blushed as she stepped back. She didn’t apologize; instead she asked if Derek wanted to hang out sometime. He smiled and said yes. She looked at him in a way no one had ever looked at him before. Like she was seeing him for the first time, like she saw something past his exterior and that she actually liked what she saw. 

They hang out just like they said. Sometimes it’s a movie and sometimes it’s coffee. Once they get to know each other better, it’s swimming in the lake by Derek’s old house. Sometimes it’s Allison jumping on Derek’s back and letting him run all over the forest with her. It’s a first kiss in the rain in the forest. Their bodies intertwined on the misty forest floor. They make love in the moonlight and Derek knows his anchor hasn’t been anger for some time. It’s Allison; his love for her anchors him more than anger ever could. It’s Derek telling her he loves her and Allison saying it back. It’s pack bonding and cuddles. These days Derek seems to let himself join in more and more. They’d worried about how Scott would handle the news. Derek and Allison were getting to know each other and it would probably end with them being together. Scott had just laughed and told them that he was happy for them. Derek knew he meant it. The alpha pack starts trouble and the pack rallies together to fight for their territory. It’s so much more than just turf now. It’s love and family. It’s Pack. Chris Argent and Derek even get along pretty well. He’s just about a part of the pack. He agreed to never attack them as long as Allison stays human. Derek had quickly agreed and welcomed him in. They fight the alphas and win. With the humans and hunters by their side, they actually have the advantage. Derek and Allison work through all the pain together, hand in hand. They grow and heal, knowing they have each other forever. Derek has friends and pack, a family he never thought he could have. It’s not the same, but it’s enough for him to start forgiving himself. It’s enough for him to let a little happiness into his life.

**Author's Note:**

> The title of this is based off a Niki and the Dove song "In Our Eyes'. It gives me many, many Dallison feelings. I hope everyone likes this, it's the first time I've ever wrote anything like this. Please feel free to let me know of any mistakes you notice, I proof read it several times, but I am bound to miss things. Thanks for reading. :)


End file.
